FullSizeRenderHow to SEE Your Hidden Self: Part 1 of 6

 

So you are back and ready for your own Dare to Ask Journey.

Congratulations!

Now buckle up for the ride as this journey of getting to know yourself requires courage. The fun part of the connection with Self is that you will learn how to eliminate ways of being that don’t serve you in order to live with joy, free from fear.

The Dare to Ask journey is a journey that allows you to see all of yourself: Mind, Body and Soul. Modern times have encouraged us to focus more on the mind and body. In the process, you might have forgotten to nurture your soul or live an integrated life where you nurture all 3 parts of your being. This journey will teach and inspire you how to nurture and connect with all 3 of these parts of your being on a daily basis, so that you can live a joyful integrated life.

Your Dare to Ask journey requires you to take 4 life-altering steps.

Remember your embodied ways of being have existed for a decade, 2 or more, so you will best serve yourself if you allow yourself time to open to these steps. Along the way, I will invite you to undertake 20 easy to understand exercises in order to give you time to take these big steps.

This journey can be done on your own, with a friend or a group where you can meet up at the times when I invite you to review your progress. The only tool that you will need for now is a personal journal or you can download your free journal pages for your first exercise, by downloading this PDF.

Let’s take a quick look at the work you will be undertaking:

Step 1 – Exercises 1 to 6 – You will learn how to SEE yourself as you question and understand your BELIEFS.
Step 2 – Exercises 7 to 12 – You will learn how to ACCEPT yourself as you question and understand your THOUGHTS.
Step 3 – Exercise 13 to 16 – You will learn how to LOVE yourself as you question and understand your BEHAVIORS.
Step 4 – Exercise 17 to 20 – You will learn how to OPEN to a life of joy as you question and understand your WORDS.

Step one of the Dare to Ask journey deals with the rather tricky topics of change, suffering and forgiveness as you question your beliefs.

As humans, one of the concepts we struggle with the most is seeing that all of our choices are informed by our beliefs. That is why the first step is the most challenging, yet the most rewarding.

Let me map this first step out for you in a table.

Step Outcome Process Topics Exercises
 

One

 

How to SEE your hidden Self

 

Questioning and understanding your BELIEFS

Change

Suffering

Forgiveness

1 and 2

3 and 4

5 and 6

For a detailed table of the entire Dare to Ask Journey you can download this free PDF.

Our first conversation involves the topic of CHANGE.

There are 3 basic types of change:

  1. NATURAL CHANGE such as getting older, the daily weather or seasons.
  2. PLANNED CHANGE such as starting a new job or a new relationship.
  3. UNPLANNED CHANGE such as natural disasters, being fired or dealing with a conflict in beliefs with another.

No matter the type of change you face, as humans we have limited to no control over the exact outcome. Yet we often hold onto to unrealistic expectations, desiring complete control, causing us to resist the flow of the change and / or the end result. When our expectations are not met we end up feeling unhappy or frustrated. This often brings anxiety, depression or even worse, denial, thereby not allowing us to see or own the lessons fully.

However, what you do have full control over is the CHOICE of your ATTITUDE towards the change.

BUT HOW?

Your choice of attitude is informed by your beliefs and your beliefs impact everything you think, do or say.

So what belief system do you approach change with, FEAR or COURAGE?

Let’s examine Fear versus Courage.

Nature of Fear Nature of Courage
  • Feelings of anxiety.
  • Negative thoughts.
  • Closes you down from being curious.
  • Denial of opportunities.
  • Lack of willingness to participate.
  • Inability to hear or trust yourself.
  • Absence of understanding or lack of desire for understanding.
  • In denial and secretive with your life stories around others.
  • A lack of ability to access or express emotions in a healthy manner.
  • A desire to control the exact outcome with little to no tolerance for unexpected life events along the way.
  • Judgments towards yourself and others.
  • A desire to conform to the beliefs and ways of being of others, resulting in internal conflict as you deny your individual truth.
  • Usually accompanied by attachments of shame, guilt or blame resulting in you saying “I can’t because…”, “If only…” or “I wish…”

Overriding narrative: I need to, I must, I should, I can’t because, I blame outside factors and others when I don’t achieve an intended outcome.

  • Relaxed or calm feelings.
  • Positive thoughts.
  • Opens you to being curious.
  • Available for opportunities.
  • Willingness to participate.
  • Ability to listen and trust yourself.
  • Some understanding or a keen desire for understanding.
  • A state of acceptance of and transparency with your life stories around others.
  • A healthy ability to access and express emotions.
  • A desire to move towards an intended outcome that involves the integration of action and unexpected life events.
  • Love towards yourself and others.
  • An ability to listen to the beliefs of others without judgment, while living your own truth from a place of united peace.
  • A healthy relationship with your stories free from any attachment of shame, guilt or blame.

Overriding narrative: I consciously move towards my intended outcomes without having to deny my fears or any of my life story(ies).

In summary:

  • Fear instils a closed and anxious attitude with a lack of action to move towards an intended outcome.
  • Courage instills an open and curious attitude with conscious action and a candid acceptance of life’s flow as you move towards an intended outcome.

You cannot change an attitude if you cannot see your default way of being. In bringing awareness to your way of being, you can link your emotional relationship to your underlying stories and beliefs in order to access an attitude of courage.

So now you can start to question and explore you way of being with change.

So grab your journal and let’s begin.

Exercise 1 – Reflecting on Your Way of Being with Change

Intended outcome of this exercise:

  1. To open you to your stories of change.
  2. To identify and bring conscious awareness to your default way of being when dealing with change.
  3. To identify and own your feelings and emotions that arise when examining your stories about change.

Over the next 2 weeks undertake exercise 1 below. I invite you to break the exercise down over a week or more so that you can contemplate and fully reflect on what you have discovered about yourself.

When journaling, let the thoughts flow onto the paper as fast as they come out of you, with no attention to spelling or grammar. Remember there are no right or wrong answers, only a process of self-discovery and understanding. Each journey is unique. Trust your own unique experience.

Planned Change:

  • Write in your journal about 3 choices you have made in your life that have had a good impact on your life.
  • Now consider in each of these instances how and from what place in yourself you made your choice. Was this choice made from your head (logic and reasoning), your heart (feelings and emotions), or your gut (intuition and internal knowing)? Or were these choices made in an integrated way, where your head, heart and gut were aligned? (Note: For more understanding on how we make decisions click here.)
  • Write in your journal about the attitude with which you approached these changes. Was it fear or courage?
  • Journal about the emotions and mood that come up when you reflect on these stories.
  • Write in your journal about 3 choices you have made that have not had a good impact on your life.
  • Now consider in each of these instances how and where you made your choice from. Was it from your head, your heart or your gut? Or were these choices made in an integrated way, where your head, heart and gut were aligned?
  • Write in your journal about the attitude with which you approached these changes. Was it fear or courage?
  • Journal about the emotions and mood that come up when you reflect on these stories. Do any of these stories have an attachment to feelings of shame, guilt or blame?

Unplanned Change:

  • Write in your journal about 2 to 4 unplanned changes you have experienced in your life and how they have impacted you, either positively or negatively.
  • Now consider in each of these instances how and from what place in yourself you dealt with the unplanned change. Was it made from your head, your heart or your gut? Or did you deal with these changes in an integrated way, where your head, heart and gut were aligned?
  • Write in your journal about the attitude with which you approached these changes. Was it fear or courage?

Natural Change:

  • Write in your journal about natural changes that are happening or have happened in your life and how they have impacted you, either positively or negatively.
  • Now consider in each of these instances how and from what place you dealt with the unplanned change. Was it made from your head, your heart or your gut? Or did you deal with these changes in an integrated way, where your head, heart and gut were aligned?
  • Write in your journal about the attitude with which you approached these changes. Was it fear or courage?

What have you learnt about yourself?

  • Journal about what you have discovered about yourself. Identify your preferred or default way of being in the world when dealing with any change. Do you generally choose an attitude of fear or courage?
  • Notice if you have a pattern when dealing with change. Do you tend towards a fully integrated way of being when dealing with change or do you tend to lean towards your head, your heart or your gut?
  • Consider why this might be your pattern. Journal about any thoughts or stories that come up. Trust what comes through, this is your internal voice speaking. Be careful not to judge the thoughts that present. Find courage to free-write and allow whatever presses through to be heard.
  • Can you find a pattern or relationship with current choices of attitude that relate to an old story? If so, journal about the comparisons that you see.

Once you have finished this last exercise sing, dance, have a glass of wine, but undertake a ritual that you enjoy to celebrate and honor the courage it takes not to deny any part of your life and being. Celebrate all that these life experiences have taught you. Now rest, laugh, have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously until we meet again in two weeks for your next exercise.

In the interim if you have questions on this topic, either submit your question here (link) or in the comments section below this BLOG or on FB (link). Likewise, if you have a story you would like to share about how you deal with change, then please do so via the same links.

Thank you for showing up for your Self as you Dare to Ask yourself to explore the modern day pilgrimage of “Know Yourself”.

IMG_0020I love you all for your courage.

Till next time.

Truth

I Dared to Ask
I Dared to Look
I Dared to Listen
I Dared to Change

Warm love and regards

Jacqui

Note: For those of you who have questions about the difference between courage and bravery, in short: with courage you feel and acknowledge your fears, with bravery you deny and or suppress your fears – to read more click here (link).

As a Spiritual Revolutionary, Jacqui Burnett Dares you to reboot your Spirit, to awaken your body, mind and soul, to Be Love in all that you Believe, Think, Say and Do.

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Showing 4 comments
  • Patricia Baran-Bubik
    Reply

    I am SO grateful for this exercise. Not sure if it will be very easy, as I have/am going through many changes. I truly need to find ME…and am excited!!
    Thank you!!

    • Jacqui Burnett
      Reply

      Thank you Patricia. It is a hard process, but remember the journey of honoring a life true to yourself is a worthwhile one. Enjoy the exercise, take your time, do not rush even though I have already published exercise 2 and 3. They are on my website when you are ready. Please stay in touch and keep me posted on your progress. I am here as support for any questions along the way.
      Warm love and regards Jacqui

  • Patricia Baran-Bubik
    Reply

    Jacqui…I also had a question. I believe my change is an “Unplanned Change” would divorce…relocating to another state go under this type of change?

    • Jacqui Burnett
      Reply

      Hi Patricia,
      Help me understand your circumstances of these major life events,
      1. Did you choose the divorce because you want it or are you being asked for a divorce and feel “forced” into it?
      2. Are you moving to another state because you want to, or is it somehow being “forced” onto you?
      Thanks for daring to ask.
      Much love Jacqui

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